My son Daniel frequently worked on student films when he was in college. One film involved the use of fake guns that looked quite realistic. A scene in the film called for the actors to walk up to an exterior door of an apartment building where Daniel lived at the time. The students were not aware there was a police presence at this building at the moment they were filming. The police were unaware the gun-wielding young men were actors. The police drew their weapons and called out to the young men to drop theirs, which they did. They were then handcuffed and questioned at the scene, but not arrested. 

Daniel called us on the phone to tell us what had happened. My stomach turned in knots and my heart started racing. In my head I could see horrible images of young men killed by gunfire. Once I was able to process the information, thinking what had happened - but more importantly, what had not happened, I just thought, "Thank God my son is white." This thought has stuck with me ever since. 

I believe that if Daniel had been black, he would have been killed that day. In this case, the police may have been justified for shooting. They believed the young men were carrying automatic weapons. But thankfully they took a breath and gave them a chance to drop their fake weapons.

If you happen to be the parent of a young white man, consider all of the experiences he had while growing up. Think about the times he got into trouble at school, drove too fast, drank underage, got rowdy at a party, or talked back to authority. Most of our children engage in some of this type of behavior while they are navigating through adolescence. If your son is black or brown, he will likely suffer unjust consequences for his actions. If your son happens to be white, he will be less likely to be suspended from school. He will be less likely to be arrested. If he is arrested, he will be less likely to go to jail. He will be less likely to be shot. Instead, he will be more likely to know how to read, graduate from high school and go onto college. 

We are horrified and outraged by the killing of Michael Brown. Even though we don't yet have all the facts, we know that an unarmed young man who was heading to college is now dead. But our outrage needs to extend beyond this one injustice. We need to consider all of the things that are impacting young men who are not white. Our mistreatment of them begins long before they reach adolescence. It happens in virtually all of our social institutions. This is well described in "Michael Brown and Black Men," an op-ed piece written by Michael M. Blow. 

Throughout my career I have personally witnessed the criminalization of typical misbehavior of boys. I once visited a detention center where the population was double the capacity allowed by law. Most of the boys, who were mostly Hispanic, were placed there due to arrests at school. When I asked about specific offenses, I was told almost all had disrupted a school function, which was against the law. I met one boy who had talked back to a teacher and another who had kicked a trash can when he was frustrated about a difficult assignment. These boys were in jail, some for months, because they had done something that would only result in a detention in a typical white suburban school. The worst offense I learned about that day after talking to dozens of children and their intake officer was a lunchroom fight with no injuries.

In schools where security staff do not have the power to arrest, we will likely see much higher suspension rates for black and brown boys than any other group. Nationally 28.3% of black male middle school students will experience suspension annually, according to the report "Suspended Education; Urban Middle Schools in Crisis." What is truly fascinating about the suspension data is how little attention and outrage it receives. I have had the experience of changing a school's suspension policy so that only truly serious incidents (that posed a safety risk) would result in a student being removed from school. To my absolute horror, teachers and parents complained about the shift in policy, arguing that we needed to throw these kids out. There was no desire among those opposing the policy to understand the consequences of suspension or even the potential success of any alternate disciplinary measure. They just wanted to throw the kids out. 


If you are the parent of white boy, you can be thankful your child's life will be easier and much more just than his peers who are black or brown. You can take comfort in the fact that a police officer may take a breath before pulling the trigger. If you are the parent of a black or brown boy, you can teach him how to respond in a way that might mitigate his odds of being unjustly suspended, arrested or shot. You can hope and pray that he will not fall victim as Michael Brown did. But all of us together must begin to be honest about how children are treated differently based on the color of their skin. 


Right now we are outraged by the killing of Michael Brown. This is not enough. In order to change things, our outrage must translate into action. As you read the stories and feel the anger, consider what you can do today in your own community to improve the odds that ALL children will receive a good education, be treated justly, and have a chance at success. 

I am one of the 3 "Walker girls." We were born in 1960, 61, and 62. This was way back in the dark ages when women were still expected to stay home to take care of the kids and girls were forced to wear skirts or dresses to school. We were taught how "ladies" were supposed to behave and that our purses and shoes should always match. But in our house we were taught so much more. My dad played a very special role in our upbringing. He really didn't treat us much different than most dads treat their boys. He expected us to push hard in everything we did, and didn't allow excuses. I remember when I was very young, he would stand in the big pool at our swim club and tell me to dive in. I was supposed to swim to him. Every time I would get close, he would keep backing up, until I had swum the entire length of the pool. It was a 25 meter pool and I wasn't even 5 yet, but I did it because he expected me to. 

Another time we went canoeing in the Delaware River, above the gap. We were all still very young and all were strong swimmers at this point. He loaded us into the canoe and took us to the middle of river. He jumped out, tipped the canoe, and swam to shore. While he was swimming he yelled to us to figure out how to get the canoe to shore and get the water out of it. Not only did we have to master the physical task, but we had to work together to accomplish the goal. 

When I got older, he was my driving teacher. I was pretty fearful of driving a car and he taught me to make my intentions known and then commit to the action. I still hear him in my head every time I pull out into heavy traffic and feel a little anxious. But just learning to drive wasn't enough. He made me learn to change a tire all by myself and change the oil. I have used these skills many times and am so thankful that I can be self-reliant when necessary.

My dad was a volunteer fire fighter for many, many years and sold firetrucks. We tagged along with him to the firehouse and even to a couple of fires. I don't think my mom approved, but he knew we could handle it. He took us to his office, to the firetruck plant and even to the Fire Chiefs' Convention. These experiences gave me such confidence as I entered the workforce and encountered male-dominated cultures. I can hold my own in the best and worst of company. This was possible because my dad let me watch him handle all kinds of people.

My dad never referred to us as "princesses." We were his daughters and were expected to be strong, tough, and self confident. Together with him we camped, swam, skied, learned car maintenance and cleaned gutters. We are all so lucky to have a dad who expected so much of us.

Happy Father's Day!

Yesterday I highlighted recent research that suggests one of the most important types of parental involvement is creating educational aspirations for children. Parents who believe their children are capable of graduating from high school are more likely to have children who graduate from high school. Parents who expect their children to go to college are more likely to have children who go to college. Children rise to meet our expectations. This is a time tested concept. What IS new, however, is the role that educators and others in the community can play in creating educational aspirations. How can teachers and school leaders help parents set high academic expectations for students? How can the entire community support children in aspiring to get a good education?

Their Success is Our Country's Success

Answering these questions is critical to our success as a nation. We are in the midst of a crisis in our country that threatens the very fabric of our democracy. If you are born poor here, you will likely not have access to a good education. We have moved so far from the premise that public education is the great equalizer. What's worse, those who seek to oppose educational reforms that will improve the odds, are convinced that kids from poor families are not capable of more. We are hearing the rants of many who tell us "It's about the poverty," when describing the achievement gap. I can tell you that I have had many disturbing conversations with respected colleagues who have bluntly stated that we really can't expect our poor kids to perform any better. There is an undercurrent in this country that supports the achievement gap. Some believe that schools can only do so much and that they should not be held accountable for children's educational performance unless we FIRST address all of the underlying social issues. What is surprising about this is that under-performing schools ARE an underlying social issue. It is my belief that what supports our acceptance of the achievement gap is a lack of belief in our kids. 

Perception Equals Reality

How can we break this cycle? We can begin right here and now by helping our kids believe in themselves and to expect them to finish high school and go to college. When I visit elementary schools, I often ask children to raise a hand or to stand up if they are going to college. The first time I did this in a poor, urban school, I shuddered at the response. Only a little over half of the kids stood up. Then I started thinking of the reality for these kids. In this particular school, fewer than half of the children would be reading at grade level by the time they went on to middle school. Fewer than 60% would graduate from high school. I realized that their own beliefs matched the real data from the district. 

Rituals and Routines

There are very simple things that can impact the expectations of parents and kids. We need to think about all of the things we do, including every day routines and important rituals, that impact perception. One example is the use of caps and gowns at "graduations." Many preschools, elementary schools and middle schools routinely use the ritual of a cap-and-gown ceremony to mark the transition from one level to the next. Some even play traditional graduation music and have valedictorians and all of the bells and whistles of a high school commencement ceremony. Once when I questioned the use of such things at an 8th grade ceremony, a mom said, "We have to have these things because this is probably the only graduation she will ever have." Wow. This mom was telling me she expected her child to drop out of high school. I wish I could tell you that was the only time I ever heard something like this - but I have heard similar things from parents, kids, and educators so often that I am confident expectations are very low.

Schools that have high graduation and college-going rates do small things that communicate a big message. They may name classrooms or areas of study after colleges and universities. They take children on field trips to colleges beginning in elementary school. Teachers hang their diplomas on classroom walls and talk about their experiences. Some schools have academic pep rallies complete with mascots from adopted colleges. Other schools have changed career days to college days. Parents, alumni, teachers and others in the community talk to students about the college they attended, highlighting the work it took to get there and what they loved about it.

The key to improving rituals and routines is to question everything. Ask, "What messages will our students receive if we do this?" If the ritual or routine conveys the wrong message, consider alternatives that will turn each activity or event into an opportunity to support a "college-going culture."

Words Matter

Perhaps the most powerful thing that can be done is to agree on words. Educators and parents can communicate expectations. Instead of just asking kids what they want to be when they grow up, try this. "When you graduate from high school and go to college, what do you think you might want to study?" "When you graduate from high school and go to college, where do you think you might want to live?" If a child is expressing a typical frustration over the lack of freedom that childhood often brings, say, "When you graduate from high school and go to college, you can make your own decisions." Reframe everything into this expectation at every opportunity. 

Schools Create a College-Going Culture

Whether you are parent, educator, or concerned citizen, you can start the process. Most of the things I am describing do not cost any money. It just takes belief in our kids and intent. Put a group together today and see what you can do to help our kids get the education they deserve.

At some point in American education we have gotten the roles reversed. Schools are expected to feed children and parents are expected to teach them academic skills. I completely understand and support school nutrition programs. If the school system can help to alleviate hunger for kids whose parents don't have the financial means to adequately feed them, this is a good thing. I also believe that the meals provided to poor children should be good food - not institutional mush. But I think we have really crossed the line. Community members will get absolutely crazed about the selection available in a school cafeteria. In some places, students are now demanding late afternoon snacks if they stay after school. ALL children are expected to be fed multiple meals each day - not just those with a real need. 

Meanwhile, educators continue to expect parents to be involved in the educational process. Well meaning teachers and school leaders provide lots of activities to get the parents into the schools, believing this is somehow the key to success. I have personally watched many of my colleagues telling parents what they should be working on at home with their children. Many parents believe that if the child gets things wrong on homework, it will somehow be a reflection on their parenting skills. This leads them to be much too involved in the homework process, and negates most of the benefit the child would have gained by doing the work independently. All of this has stemmed from ongoing belief that parental involvement is a predictor of school success. Unfortunately, this belief is erroneous. From some recent research by Keith Robinson and Angela Harris of the University of Texas and Duke respectively, we learn there are only a few things that parents do that truly result in increased achievement. These included having educational aspirations for their children, talking to their children about what is happening in school, and requesting a particular teacher.

After watching kids and their parents in and around schools for nearly three decades, I would like to add to the list of things parents can do to help their kids achieve. These observations are by no means the result of empirical research, so take them as my experience and nothing more. 

1. Have a predictable, structured schedule in the home. This should include routines for what happens after school through bedtime, along with what happens each morning when you get ready for school.
2. Prepare everything that needs to go to school the night before and place everything by the door where you leave each morning.
3. Feed your children actual meals of good, nutritious food. This means the kids should not arrive at school struggling to chomp down a breakfast burrito while hurrying to class. Be sure your child has lunch, or the money to purchase a school meal. It also means sitting down to dinner together as much as possible - and talking about events of the day (see findings from the Robinson/Harris research).
4. Be sure your child gets to school with plenty of time to transition into the day. This means you may have to get up just a little bit earlier.
5. If you drop your child off in the carpool lane, be sure s/he is ready to jump out quickly. If your child doesn't have things organized before getting into the car, there will be trouble getting out of the car. In my experience, this difficulty of getting out of the car and into the building, is almost always a predictor of deeper issues. When I was supervising the carpool line, I called it the 5 second rule. Any kid who took more than 5 seconds to get out of the car, was a kid who had achievement issues. 
6. Be sure your child can leave school on time, or at the appropriate time after all after-school activities are completed. Don't let your kid be the last one picked up.

So, in a nutshell, parents should feed their children, ensure a daily routine, talk to their children, and get them in and out of school on time. Teachers should teach children, help them understand their homework, and supervise the learning process in school-based academics. Schools, families and communities should work together to ensure that all children have high educational aspirations (more to come on this topic). All children would benefit from a better understanding of the roles and responsibilities of each group. Respecting appropriate roles and expecting everyone to play only their part would go a long way toward improving our educational system.

On The Today Show this morning, we got a glimpse of a new book by  The "Tiger Mom." This book, authored by Amy Chua and her husband Jed Rubenfeld describes the cultural differences they say cause success. These include a feeling of superiority, insecurity, and impulse control. Although they state the book is a compilation of research, the description of cultural stereotypes and its resulting controversy certainly won't hurt book sales. In her first book, The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, Chua advocated very strict parenting that prohibits slumber parties and ensures practicing piano at the expense of play. Just like in her current book, there was great controversy which certainly fueled large book sales. But many of her critics claim this type of parenting can be detrimental to children. According to author and psychologist Lac su, "I feel for Chua's daughters...Chua doesn't seem to wonder if her tiger techniques are overboard, and neither did my father while I was young. He never asked if the abuse was unwarranted, and never questioned whether isolating me from the world was the best way for me to learn how to maneuver in it." Su calls the similar techniques his father used were "abusive." I don't know Chua or her family, and am not suggesting she is abusive to her children. However, the parenting techniques described in her book are most certainly extreme. I agree with Su's assertion that isolating a child from the world will not help him maneuver in it.

There is a better way.

We can do better than metaphorically beating our children into submission. We can be joyful in our parenting and instill joy in our children while still providing them with appropriate discipline. We can ensure that our children have a solid work ethic and will strive to achieve without denying them them childhood fun. We can teach them to maneuver in the world by providing just the right guidance at just the right time as they grow and learn. I call this technique Pathfinder Parenting.  I first learned about pathfinders during the Vietnam war when my cousin Bud was in the military. He was a pathfinder and explained to me that it was his job to go ahead of the troops and keep them safe. He would assess the situation and determine how everyone could get to the right place, with the least risk of injury or death. This fascinated me. What an important job. I have thought about it ever since and once I became a parent, I realized this was my job. Growing up has its risks and I understood from the time my children were born they would get hurt along the way. I knew that I had to allow them to take some risks, but sometimes the risks were just too great, so I would need to alter their path. The important part is that a parent knows just when to intervene, when to offer gentle guidance, and when to allow the child to learn on her own. This can be accomplished by thinking of a simple traffic light. If the consequences of your child's actions will just be minor inconvenience or discomfort, think of it as a "green light issue" and stay out of the way. If the consequences will be more severe, resulting in greater loss or future problems, think of it as a "yellow light issue" and offer guidance. But then allow your child to suffer the consequences and learn. If the consequences could be death, a significant health issue, or life-altering results, think of it as a "red light issue" and intervene quickly and assertively.

Extremes are almost never the right way to go.

We should view parenting the way we view all things. Extremes are usually not the best way to proceed. Think about dieting, sports, religion, politics. The answers are always somewhere in the middle. We need a balanced approach to parenting that considers the future, yet allows us to savor the moments of the present. We need to help our children to grow and learn to navigate through life's challenges in a way that will ensure a positive future, with the least amount of psychological harm.

To learn more about Pathfinder Parenting, read Drive: 9 Ways to Motivate Your Kids to Achieve.

Parental involvement has long been touted as one of the keys to success in school. What do you think of when you consider parental involvement? PTA? Bake sales? Chaperoning trips and special events? Helping with school activities? Parent-teacher conferences? If you believe that will make a real difference, think again. For my entire time as an educator, I have heard teachers and administrators lament that they just can't get parents to come into the school. Many believe if parents would come in for events, conferences and PTA meetings it would have a great impact on individual kids. What parents really need is an access point into educational encouragement. They need to understand what their children are learning, why it is important, and how to share in educational aspirations for their children. In One Dream Two Realities, researchers John Bridgeland, John Dilulio, Ryan Streeter and James Mason consider the types of parental involvement that result in real achievement of students. This report offers excellent insight into how to create parental involvement that will truly make a difference, particularly for children of poverty. 

Aspirations

The first key to helping parents help their children is to talk about educational aspirations. School communities must create a "college going culture" if they want children to go to college. Children who believe they can and will go to college from a very young age are more likely to do so. Elementary schools can rename their grade levels for the the year that class will graduate from college. By doing so, the young scholars will understand their educational career will equal high school plus four. Individual classrooms can be named after colleges and universities and teachers can proudly display their diplomas on the walls. I have spent a great deal of time talking with young students and have been amazed at how little they understand about post-secondary education. When you start talking to these kids about it, they are excited and want to learn more. Parents who have not gone to college need the same type of information so they can continue these conversations at home. You would be surprised how powerful it is just to say to a parent, "I expect your child to graduate from college." Many have simply never considered this. 

Elementary schools should include field trips to college campuses. Many colleges and universities have museums and activities that are fun for young scholars, and provide a great way for children to experience campuses. Teachers can then have the children share their observations and perspectives on their college trips with their parents.

Connect through Homework

A great access point for parents is through their children's homework. Many teachers focus homework on moving academic skills along. However, research shows this is sometimes counterproductive. You can learn more about the benefits and downfalls of homework in The Homework Myth by Alfie Kohn. Instead of focusing homework on academic skill development, teachers can use it to connect parents to what their children are learning in school. For young children this may mean reading for a few minutes together. Schools can consider providing access to digital books that can do the reading with them if they have a lot of parents with limited reading skills. A good example of this is Myon Reader. As children get older, teachers can include parent interview or "share" topics in their students' homework to encourage conversation at home about learning.

Attendance is Key

New Jersey now includes elementary student attendance (reported as chronic absenteeism) on school report cards as an indicator of college and career readiness. We know very early which children are at risk of dropping out of high school. Those with chronic absenteeism are much less likely to find success in school. However, there is very little intervention at this age. Elementary schools should provide support to parents who have difficulty getting children to school. If this can be reversed early, these children has a much better chance in middle and high school.

Be Clear About Roles

If you attend parent-teacher conferences, particularly for kids who are struggling, you will hear teachers explain to parents how they can help teach the child at home. Parents with limited academic skills cannot possibly do this. In fact, many parents with excellent skills themselves complain they are not capable of assisting children with homework as early as second grade. This is particularly true in math. We seem to change instructional strategies with each generation, so parents become baffled by the "new" math. Parents really should not be asked to assist children with homework. Homework should never be so challenging that children require extensive help. Parents should simply provide the time and place and ensure it gets done. If children have difficulty with assignments, they should be encouraged to contact their peers and talk with the teacher the following day. 

High School Requirements

Parents need to be well educated about requirements for high school graduation by grade seven. Guidance counselors, school leaders and teachers should coordinate their parent outreach efforts to help parents understand this. This can be done on websites, through social media, at parent-teacher conferences, through homework assignments, and individual outreach. This should be the common thread throughout all outreach efforts in middle school, with tracking to ensure that EVERY parent understands what is required in high school. Schools typically don't have these conversations with parents until after 9th grade, when it is too late. Generally students who are at risk have already dropped out by then.

By the time a student enters high school, s/he should already understand s/he can and will go to college, have visited several colleges, and understand the academic requirements to get there. This would make a world of difference, particularly in low-income communities where students are likely to be the first in their families to go to college.

Effective Parental Involvement

Yes, parents need to be involved in order to ensure student success. But it is not their job to come to school and help us. It is our job to reach out to them with support and education so they can:

1. Get their children to school on time every day, ready to learn.
2. Expect their children to graduate from high school and college.
3. Read with their children.
4. Talk to their children about what they are learning in school.
5. Provide a time and place for homework to get done - but they should not be expected to assist with homework.
6. Understand the requirements to graduate from high school.
7. Understand what is required to get into college.

So forget the PTA, bake sales and school events. This is the parental involvement we need.

As a child growing up in suburban America in the 1960s, I enjoyed wonderful opportunities for play. My sisters and I ran with a gang of neighborhood kids nearly every day. We were expected to be outside almost all the time in those days. There was a social structure to our activities, with certain children who were in charge and others who would follow. We created games and worlds from our imaginations. There were no adults to mediate, nothing written to follow, and no technology involved. We just played. Looking back now as a parent and educator I understand just how valuable these experiences were. We learned to negotiate, collaborate, and do whatever was necessary to keep the maximum number of children in the game at all times. It wasn't really about winning and losing; it was about playing as long as possible. We had our own world, separate from our parents, that allowed us to develop independence, creativity and knowledge. These things could not be taught in a formal setting. They had to be learned through experience. I also learned to be a special education teacher through play. We were required by our parents to be inclusive in our neighborhood. There were a couple of girls my age with disabilities and I knew I was expected to include them. Our gang learned to adjust to meet their needs. Once in a while these girls would leave the group in tears. When that happened, we felt relieved that we could stop adjusting. But I also recall feeling like we had somehow failed.

When I began working as a superintendent of schools here in Perth Amboy, NJ, we started thinking about how instruction should look in all of our classrooms. Our school leaders began visiting classrooms at all levels (preK, elementary, middle, high school) to determine what was happening and how we could improve. We started our rounds at our early childhood centers which include three and four-year-old children. The school leaders immediately noticed how powerful play was in these settings. They took notes on specific interactions they observed among the children and concluded that ALL classrooms needed to include more engagement like this. Play is the vehicle that moves learning for preK kids. It can be used throughout all levels, including adult learning. If you have participated in corporate retreats, you have likely engaged in learning through play.

How can we ensure that all kids are getting enough time and space to play naturally, the way we did in suburban America in the 1960s? As parents, we have to ensure that our kids get outside with friends in the neighborhood. If you don't live in a neighborhood where there is a safe place for them to do this, take them to a playground and then get out of the way. They key is to allow them to make their own rules, run their own games, and solve their own problems. All you have to do as a parent is to ensure time and a safe place to do this. This may mean that you have to eliminate some of the structured activities that currently fill up your calendar. Beware, if you have not allowed your child the time and space to do this in the past, it may not come easy. Your child may come to you repeatedly and ask you to intervene in disputes. When this happens, you have to tell your child to work it out independently of you. Resist the urge to get involved. Expect there may be conflict and hurt feelings on occasion, but don't jump in to "save" your child unless there is grave risk to physical safety.

In schools we have to ensure that the structure of the day includes time for play. This may be at recess when adults need to stay out of the way. It may be in the classroom when teachers provide time, space, and materials for kids to use. I know of one school in New York that has block time infused into the daily schedule of kindergarten and first grade students. Students are given old-fashioned wooden blocks of all shapes and sizes and time to build. They love it. Teachers have found that this unstructured block time assists children to develop the spatial awareness number sense necessary to become good at math. Math scores in this school have increased dramatically as a result of just allowing children to play with blocks.The key in schools is to find as many opportunities as possible for children to do what comes naturally to them - play. 

At a time when we are increasing academic requirements for children, we need to be sure to always allow kids to be kids. Be sure to leave time and space for play.

Resources:

Give Childhood Back to Children

Drive: 9 Ways to Motivate Your Kids to Achieve

The Importance of Play

The Importance of Play for Adults

10 Quotes about Play

On November 2nd, Jane Elizabeth came into our lives. She is my daughter's daughter, which makes her my granddaughter. Grandma just doesn't feel right, so I am hoping she will call me Nini, which was a nickname used for me as a child. When I had children of my own I never imagined that they would one day have children. When my daughter got married over five years ago, the thought still never really occurred to me. But now here we are. My husband and I are suddenly grandparents. I have heard other people say this makes one feel old, but it somehow makes me feel younger.

That baby has just weaseled her way into my heart in ways I could not have predicted. I don't really remember feeling this way with my own children. Sure I felt attached to them and was overjoyed by their presence. But not like this. Having my own children felt like an awesome responsibility. It made me fearful of so many things I hadn't previously considered. I worried and wondered and thought way too much about way too many things. Having a grandchild is different. The worrying belongs to her parents. I only feel joy.

That baby has impacted so many lives already. She has four great-grandparents and four grandparents who ooh and ahh over every expression captured in person and in every photo and video. We all demand a continual stream of them via text, video chat, email, and social media. We dream for her and tell everyone (even when they are not interested) just how amazing, clever, and cute she is. Her many aunts, uncles, cousins and friends want to know all about her and share in the excitement of her just "being." I don't think there is anything more exciting than bringing a new life into the world. Everyone wants to be part of it, and is reminded of the true meaning of life.

Holding that baby is simply intoxicating. No matter how difficult life might be at the moment, it somehow all disappears when she is in my arms. I just can't get enough of her. Being away from her for too long is simply intolerable. I find myself making short-term and long-term plans around her.

Mostly I just feel so grateful to have that baby in my life, which will never be the same again.